i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
