in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
you never un-have a 4some
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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