I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
