I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
