I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i came on her dog
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
