well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
