she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
