I want to stick my p in your. b.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
