I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
