Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
