Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
