If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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