When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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