I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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