he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
