soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
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