So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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