Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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