I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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