Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
