I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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