i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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