woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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