You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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