It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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