Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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