So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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