community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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