WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
