Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
