This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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