Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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