So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
