who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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