he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
