Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
