His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
