Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
