I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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