I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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