Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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