alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
