with your own penis?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
