I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just gift wrapped bread.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
