i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
