She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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