Pappa wants mamma naked
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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