I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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