You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
