i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
