I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
