Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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