I want to stick my p in your. b.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
