he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
be right there i have to get my cape
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
