weddingsv make me drug and hornr
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
