Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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