his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
