How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
