alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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