Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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