i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
