I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
