if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
