I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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