she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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