i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
