I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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